Well it's been awhile... Lots has happened but of all things that have happened is my brother has passed away. He died on Nov. 11th and it has been an emotional roller coaster since. But what brings me to write tonight has to do with space. My space/personal space! A close friend of mine asked me if I was homeless the other night. I was so taken back by this comment that I felt hurt. That of course wasn't their intentions but all I could think was wow I am never in my place nor do I have friends over. I also started to think about why is this the case. My conclusion is that I don't want to be alone at this time in my life and that may be why I avoid staying at my own place. Since the news of my brother I haven't spent much time in my place. Do you think this is me avoiding emotion? I think that is possible. So today I reorganized and cleaned my place, trying to make it feel more like home and a place that I would want to spend time. Truth is at the end of the day I still wish I wasn't alone. I don't mind it but right now it is just nice being around friends and people that you care about. I guess I am afraid. I just don't want to miss a single moment.
